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On love, swipes and expectations: thoughts on dating
Sometimes it seems to me that modern dating is like online shopping: you choose, compare, add to “favorites” and hope that it will suit. But with people it is not so simple. They do not have a “return policy” and an exact description in the profile of the site https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-adv...-younger-women. They are real, with their cockroaches, jokes, worries. And with each swipe we seem to be getting closer... and further from real contact.
Dating today is not just a way to find a partner. It is part of the culture in which we live. We are a generation that seeks love through a screen. It is convenient. It is fast. It seems to be effective. But how many real stories are hidden behind these profiles? How many smiles in the photos are real? And how many dialogues end before they even begin?
On the one hand, technology has given us incredible opportunities. We can meet people from other cities and countries, find those with whom we share values, interests, and even musical tastes. On the other hand, we increasingly feel lonely. A paradox?
Not quite. Because technology does not teach us the main thing - how to be close. How to listen. How not to be afraid to be ourselves. How to talk not only about what we love in films, but also about what worries us, hurts us, inspires us.
Online dating often comes down to templates: "Hi, how are you?", "What are you doing?", "You are so beautiful." And everything seems nice, but - empty. We are afraid to talk about the present. We are afraid of silence. We are afraid of not being liked. And so we behave as if "at an interview." But relationships are not a resume or a casting.
I do not want to say that dating is evil. On the contrary. It is a great tool. It's just that, like any tool, it works when used correctly. When you're not trying to deceive - neither yourself nor the other person. When you're not playing "the best candidate", but simply communicating as a person to a person.
Here are a few things I try to remember when I open the app:
No one owes anyone anything. A match is not an obligation. It's an invitation to dialogue, nothing more.
Everyone deserves respect. Even if you're not interested - don't disappear. Tell them honestly. It's simple and human.
Silence is better than falsehood. Don't respond out of politeness. Don't maintain interest if there is none. This is not kindness - it's a waste of time.
Interest begins with sincerity. Yes, it's scary. But this is the only way to really hook someone.
And dating can be fun. Not every meeting has to end with the love of your life. Sometimes it's just a conversation that dispels a boring evening. Sometimes - inspiration. And sometimes - a lesson. And that's good too.
Don't wait for the ideal. Don't set expectations. Don't try to "get it right away." Just allow yourself to be. Not for show, not for evaluation - but for real. Then the other person will be able to be themselves. And then - maybe - that very thing will happen: a real match.
Because dating is not about the number of messages. It's about attention, presence and courage to feel.
Sometimes it seems to me that modern dating is like online shopping: you choose, compare, add to “favorites” and hope that it will suit. But with people it is not so simple. They do not have a “return policy” and an exact description in the profile of the site https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-adv...-younger-women. They are real, with their cockroaches, jokes, worries. And with each swipe we seem to be getting closer... and further from real contact.
Dating today is not just a way to find a partner. It is part of the culture in which we live. We are a generation that seeks love through a screen. It is convenient. It is fast. It seems to be effective. But how many real stories are hidden behind these profiles? How many smiles in the photos are real? And how many dialogues end before they even begin?
On the one hand, technology has given us incredible opportunities. We can meet people from other cities and countries, find those with whom we share values, interests, and even musical tastes. On the other hand, we increasingly feel lonely. A paradox?
Not quite. Because technology does not teach us the main thing - how to be close. How to listen. How not to be afraid to be ourselves. How to talk not only about what we love in films, but also about what worries us, hurts us, inspires us.
Online dating often comes down to templates: "Hi, how are you?", "What are you doing?", "You are so beautiful." And everything seems nice, but - empty. We are afraid to talk about the present. We are afraid of silence. We are afraid of not being liked. And so we behave as if "at an interview." But relationships are not a resume or a casting.
I do not want to say that dating is evil. On the contrary. It is a great tool. It's just that, like any tool, it works when used correctly. When you're not trying to deceive - neither yourself nor the other person. When you're not playing "the best candidate", but simply communicating as a person to a person.
Here are a few things I try to remember when I open the app:
No one owes anyone anything. A match is not an obligation. It's an invitation to dialogue, nothing more.
Everyone deserves respect. Even if you're not interested - don't disappear. Tell them honestly. It's simple and human.
Silence is better than falsehood. Don't respond out of politeness. Don't maintain interest if there is none. This is not kindness - it's a waste of time.
Interest begins with sincerity. Yes, it's scary. But this is the only way to really hook someone.
And dating can be fun. Not every meeting has to end with the love of your life. Sometimes it's just a conversation that dispels a boring evening. Sometimes - inspiration. And sometimes - a lesson. And that's good too.
Don't wait for the ideal. Don't set expectations. Don't try to "get it right away." Just allow yourself to be. Not for show, not for evaluation - but for real. Then the other person will be able to be themselves. And then - maybe - that very thing will happen: a real match.
Because dating is not about the number of messages. It's about attention, presence and courage to feel.